How to Talk Dirty to Your Sex Partner
Following the #MeToo movement, is it still OK to talk dirty to a woman? We’ve found some good advice to share with you on how to talk dirty while still being respectful, and, staying sexy!
Dirty talk doesn’t come naturally to everyone. In reality it can be extremely awkward. But it’s a skill you can learn. So how do you begin talking nasty without sounding silly?
One of the best things you can say to someone to start off the dirty talk is “I want you”, or “I love it when you…”. There are also certain “key words” you can use to get more comfortable in bed, like: “wet,” “fuck,” “suck,” “hard,” “come,” “slower,” “faster,” “clit,” “dick,” “mouth,” and “ass.” You can try putting some of these sexy words together and see what hot and dirty sex talk combinations you can come up with.
Another strategy you can try to start talking dirty, popularized by top sex advice experts, is to describe to your partner what you’re going to do before and after actually doing it, and what you just did. For example, try saying something like “Baby, I’m going to turn you around and fuck you so hard”, or “I’m fucking you so hard Baby”, and “I just fucked you so hard.”
There is no one-size-fits-all manual for how to talk dirty — but that’s no reason to give up completely. So if there are some words you don’t feel comfortable with, Men’s Health posted more sound sex talk advice, if you’re willing to give it a try. So whether you’re a dirty talk beginner or a seasoned nasty chatting expert, if you follow these general guidelines you’ll probably stay on the safe side of talking dirty to your girl or guy.
- Begin with a conversation
Even though it might seem awkward, talk about sexy talk before having sex. It’s the easiest, simplest way to begin talking dirty to your sexual partner. Take the focus off of you by saying something in quotes from somewhere else, like, “I was reading in a magazine that some women don’t like to talk dirty during sex. Is that true, that ALL women don’t like it?”
- Try sexting first
Everyone has a cellphone these day, and everyone texts. Your partner might even prefer sexting instead of actually talking dirty. Send a sexually suggesting text to your partner during work hours, telling them what you want to do to them when they get home.
- Start slow, follow her (or his) lead
After you’ve both agreed to try dirty talk during sex, test the waters! You can start out simply by describing what you want to do or what you’re doing, say things like “I can’t wait to get you naked,” or “You feel sooo good,” or, “It feels so good when you your legs are over my shoulder.” Pay attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues for her reactons for postivie or negative signs.
- Your Tone of your voice is important
Keep it light and playful even in the heat of the moment. If you feel your partner seems to be getting turned off by something you said, just make a joke about it or say, “Did I go a little too far?”. Sex should be fun, so there’s no reason to take it so serious.
- Don’t be a boss
Unless you’ve talked about it before, like in a specific role playing scenario and your partner is OK with it, there’s no reason to boss your partner around or make them perform certain sex acts. Don’t make her feeling coerced or pressured into doing things she doesn’t want to do or make her feel uncomfortable
- Don’t call her bad names
Different people are into different things during sex, and that also applies to talking dirty. While one partner might get turned on by hardcore dirty talk another might think it’s totally repugnant. But there are always a few words that probably should never be used, or at least not right away in your relationship. Studies show that at least one third of all women polled hated hearing the word “bitch” while having sex, while hearing the words “slut” and “whore” during sex were also offensive or degrading.
- 7) Don’t say “Daddy”
Unless it’s specifically agreed upon beforehand, it’s would probably be best not to many any mention of family members during sex. Try to focus on the positive, saying more of what you enjoyed, “I loved it when you were on top”.
- Talk about sex talk after you have sex
Your sexual partner needs to know their talking dirty efforts are appreciated, so make sure you’re both on the same dirty talk page after having sex, and communicating on what you liked and might not have enjoyed too much. Neither of you should be afraid to talk about the things that did or didn’t work, for either of you, in bed.
- What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.
The words and language you use in bed doesn’t necessarily reflect who you are as a person outside your home. So if you screw up, own up to it. If your partner does like to be called certain bad names during sex, that doesn’t give you permission to call them that when outside of the bedroom or during an argument.
So, are you ready to start practicing talking dirty, or at least willing to try dirty text chatting? Just enter our free live sex chat rooms, The Foreplay or Do The Nasty, and start chatting dirty now. And, it’s always free!
For a quick laugh, here’s a funny video clip on how NOT to talk dirty during sex:
From the movie Trainwreck starring Amy Schumer and John Cena